Nice & Slow

He said, “Let’s just take things nice and slow”…

And for the first time in my life, I must admit, those words felt comforting like a being wrapped up in a warm blanket on the coldest day. Me, I know nothing about taking things slow, it’s always a rush to get to the next level. But as I have learned over time, “haste makes waste”. So maybe it’s time to try something new. Try a different approach: Go nice and slow.

I am fully aware of how old I am (34) and the pressure society has put on me to settle down, be married, have kids, etc. I mean according to society I should be working on my 3 child by because my eggs are slowly leaving my body. But I’m marching to the own beat of my drum. I am in such a good space with myself. I am really allowing for God to take me through this journey. He hasn’t failed me yet and I know there are more lessons for me to learn along the way to LOVE. I look forward to coffee shop meetups in a bookstore, where we can connect on a literature level. I want to be taken to all the tea shops in NYC and open up my pallet to different herbs and blends. I want to laugh like really hard for no reason. I want to be who I am and not be misunderstood. I want you to challenge me but don’t try to change me. I want my eyes to light up when I see your text messages coming through my phone. I want things to be light hearted, and fun because let’s face it, we are living in a really unstable and terrifying climate. So for right now, nice and slow sounds like the best medication the doctor could have ever ordered. ♥️

“We Make Plans, God Laughs”

I know that this piece should greet everyone with good vibes because the weather we were waiting for is finally here. Summer calls for picnics in the park, music and food festivals, good ol fashioned BBQ’s and trips to the beach. Something about this season puts everyone in a good mood.

Living in NYC, I have the pleasure of witnessing the sounds of children laughing and playing in the park and the locals have occupied the sidewalks with their impromptu mini BBQ’s that turn out to be a reunion for the neighborhood. It’s always a favorite season because my birthday happens to fall right in the middle of this summer goodness. My Jesus Year has been filled with so many twists, turns, detours, highs and lows. But I am thankful for all of it.

I won’t downplay the opportunity I have been presented with which is to finally step into my role as a School Psychologist. I finished up my first year in a new school district and it has been such an incredible experience. I have learned so much in this field and I feel I can take myself to the next level. But as one part of my life elevates, the breaks have been put on yet another part: the LOVE part.

About 6 weeks ago things came to a halt with the man I found myself to be doing “forever” with. I often would question the events that take place when it comes to this LOVE journey but I have decided to no longer do so. His presence taught me a lot and it just sharpens my insight, awareness on what I look for in my “forever” mate. The bad started to outweigh the good and his hold on the relationship slowly started to loosen up. He no longer wanted to stay in the battle and fight for us. Turns out that I was in this relationship fighting by myself. Relationships are going to be tested in more ways than one. I mean you will go through some very uncomfortable moments but at the end of day it’s all worth it. Right? No one ever said it would be easy let alone the road to forever. I mean how could we be thankful for the sun if we never experienced the rain? But here I am, on the heels of my 34th (7/19) and I couldn’t be more happier. Another beautiful thing that has come out of my Jesus year is me finding a therapist. Yes, I have been in therapy for a couple of months now. We gotta do that internal work if we wanna continue to vibrate higher. I never realized how therapeutic releasing could truly be. So far my sessions have been great and it probably has been one of the best investments I’ve made in myself to date.

Life continues to show me how much we will never be in control and we just need to hold on tight for this ride. In the meantime continue to bask in LOVE, live in Light and keep Laughing. ♥️

Our Heavenly Mothers

As we celebrate and honor the women in our lives who have redefined what is to be a mother, let’s take the time to remember those women who have passed on.

I don’t know what it would be like to celebrate my mother without having her in the human form but I realize so many women I know are experiencing this difficult moment. My mother still feels the loss of my grandmother 13 years later. You just learn how to live, but you never forget.

For my ladies who are going another year without their mothers:

Know that you have been wrapped in her love and clothed in her strength. Because of her, you are the women you are today. Her spirit lives in you. May you pass on her values and morals down into your own home so that your family will stay balanced and be kept afloat. Let her memories keep you warm on the coldest of nights. Let her teachings guide you as you continue to navigate life’s journey.

Our time on this earth comes with an expiration date, make sure you take today and everyday to show the women in your life how amazing they are. If you are holding on to a grudge, let it go. Rebuild and repair that broken relationship with your mother. You may get a chance to know many women in this world but you will only get one mother. LOVE her in all ways, always. ♥️

“Gotta Be In It, To Win It”

March 26th, 2018

“I wanted to protect your feelings I wanted to keep you away from what I was experiencing” he stated.

The more he felt, the more he pulled away.

“I want to make this work, you are who I need.”

I decided he is who I need as well.

So there’s a difference between what you need and what you want. The want fades, the need is more of a permanence.

Our LOVE story began June 6th 2017. The dating app “Black People Meet” led me right to the Black person I needed to meet. His complexion is so rich and chocolate with piercing brown eyes. His heart is as big as the ocean. His love not just for me but for others around him is truly admirable and one of the many reason why I LOVE him.

This is a man who devotes his time to giving haircuts to men in a shelter during the holiday season and hands out money to people in the neighborhood “just because”. He’s not looking for a handout or a shout out. He is the calm to my crazy. When I want to stay mad at him he always finds a way to make me smile or say something that’s hella shady but funny at the same time. He always wants to see me win and he is truly my number one supporter. He has shined the light on me taking better care of my physical and spiritual well-being. With him it’s not about what I look like but what I feed my body and mind which he finds attractive. He never makes me feel less than and shows me the upmost respect in all ways, always.

The disruption of our relationship is what we needed. It allowed for us to assess what is needed to keep our relationship functioning. We were able to be honest and open with each other. We want our relationship to be forever and so we have to take the necessary steps to make that happen. I have realized in this time a relationship takes sooo much more to thrive and survive.

It’s so much easier to walk away but staying, well now, that’s the is the real test.

In this LOVE thing, “You gotta be in it to win it.”

Saying you’re in a relationship is just not enough. It takes understanding, prayer, patience, being reflective and being apologetic just to name a few. Did I say patience? LOL.

We have alot of work to do and we are truly a work in progress. But what relationship isn’t? God has a way of slowing you down and refocusing your speed. He also knows how to remove what you want and give you what you need. ♥️

Spring: Loading…

I know we are ready for a change. Winter seems to have grabbed on tight and apparently is having a hard time letting go. We are all ready to shed the layers, wear lighter clothing and get ready for the next best season after Spring which is Summer ( my birthday season🎂♥️). We have experienced our 4th Nor’easter and everyone is about fed up at this point. Spring breaks for some have been dissolved and as a result it has forced others to work all the way until June (If you’re in education).

I must say I welcome the delay. It proves how much God is in control. The plans we make are never our own. We must always leave room for God’s plan. There’s more of an appreciation for the season when it finally arrives. Continue to move in gratitude and be thankful for this moment. There are some who will never get to experience the unpredictability of our lady, “Mother Nature”. This is all in preparation for the new season that awaits us. Be thankful for the “snowdays” which gives us time to reset and restore our bodies. To spend time with loved ones or to binge on shows we never make the time for. Think of the delay in the change of weather as a way of slowing us down. So before you put up another post or rant about where is Spring, find LOVE in the wait. ♥️

Grow Your Garden

It was a month ago this day I never imagined it would be my last engagement with him. A month ago we exchanged our last laughs, shared how our day went and got caught up with plotting events and trips that we were never going to take.

You see everyone wants a garden but no one wants to take care of it. It take more than just laying the seeds down and covering it up with the soil. You have to water it, make sure it’s given adequate light, remove and debris or weeds that might start growing around it. You need to be an active participant in your garden. Think about how you feel when you see your flowers start to bloom, the bright vivid colors that stare back at you. It’s a beautiful feeling.

Relationships equate to a garden. I realize not everyone is ready to get their hands dirty and put the work in to seeing things grow. That doesn’t make them bad people, they’re just not meant for you. That is why I walked away. I decided that I am committed to seeing growth for my garden. I know that my garden requires a special kind of LOVE and attention that I will not waver on for anyone. I might have LOVED you but I LOVE me sooo much more. ♥️

Lost & Found

It’s been a minute.

Ok maybe it’s been more than a minute. More like a year. I know. How could I just abdandon the one thing that got me through some tough times in my love journey? It has been such a road. A very interesting path that only God could assemble. I promise to never leave you hanging like that ever again. I have to shout out an amazing woman for igniting the fire to make this piece even come to life. (M.M. I L❤️VE you to pieces!) She messaged me one day stating, “listen I need you to write a piece, make it happen because you’re blog needs you “. And not until this moment I realized how much I needed it too. I lost my way but now I am found. It feels good to be back. So many things to share with you all but I will slowly introduce the many intricate details piece by piece.. So please, bare with me.

I’m hoping that 2018 is bringing you all nothing but the best and that you are remaining steadfast in achieving your goals. Remember we are responsible for what gets done with these 365 days so let’s make the best of it! If I haven’t learn anything while being away it has been to cherish the day. Like live your life out loud, in color. Let the colors of your days be so bright it blinds everyone in sight. Each day we are given a new masterpiece to create, it is up to you to give the audience a picture worth viewing.

Can you believe we will be done with February in 13 days? What small wins have you accomplished thus far? We are now in the second day of the Lenten season. Please take this time to do some God searching, soul working and self-loving. Dropping some more LOVE next week. Stay tuned. Wishing you LOVE & Light always in all ways.❤️