Courting 101


My most recent date has led me to believe that chilvary has become or is becoming extinct.

We arrived at a very low lit bar in the West Village with instrumental music playing softly in the background. There was nothing really on the menu to order in terms of appetizers or entrees so I decided to get a glass of Riesling. My online match went for a Mexican beer. After the week I had, a good wine and nice conversation was in order. My online match and I decided to exchange in further conversation since the “vibe” I got from him on our previous date left me wanting more. I soon realized that my thoughts of anything more would diminish after this night.

After finishing our drinks we decided to wrap up this night as I was becoming completely fatigued. He asked for the bill and placed his debit card on top. My head rested gently on the table as I was waiting for the cue for us to head out. Moments after paying for the bill he asked me for 3 dollars. I jumped up immediately and whatever sleep I once felt vanished. I didn’t know what to say. I thought to myself, “How do you ask your date for any money that you don’t have of your own?” “Isn’t this the courting stage?” Well apparently not. He seemed to not have any remorse about asking me for the money. This prompted my interest to ask him his views on courting. “I mean it’s 2014, what’s wrong with a woman showing interest in a guy?” “We can go Dutch on things?” Look I work really hard for my money”..

I couldn’t stand to hear this banter any longer. I inserted my opinion and stated, “When you express interest in a woman, you put in effort”. “You go after her, chase her, wine and dine her”. Why? Because she’s the best thing you’ve come across in a long time. You don’t drag your feet, you take initiative. There’s value in showing your lady of interest a good time. You never make her pull out her wallet. Not ONCE.
What has gone wrong in today’s dating world is that women are taking the lead. They are absolving men of their courting privileges. By suggesting a man goes Dutch with them or making forth the effort to pay for the bill. Ladles, stop it. Because a “real” man won’t think twice about taking your money. Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe when I have established a relationship with a man, there’s no harm in me helping out here and there. But it won’t become a habit.

The last time I checked a man is suppose to: Provide, Protect and Profess. If he can’t do that he doesn’t deserve the right to be MY MAN.

As my online match and I walked to my car we exchanged handshakes. I wished him well on his future endeavors and told him to step his courting game up. Another potential scratched off my LOVE list. “If you want to LOVE me, you better know how to court me”. ❤️

6 thoughts on “Courting 101

  1. Exactly. I don’t know what it is but I’m really not down with this generation… Well not on the “LOVE” tip. I can remember when courting was just that… Courting. You did everything you possibly could to please the woman you were trying to get to. I’m only 27 but I remember. Hopefully it gets better. I’m not giving up on love, just learning to love and invest in me more.


    • MoonChild19 says:

      Things have changed soooo much!! I talk about this all the time!! Guys very seldom put forth the effort and expect a whole lot in return.. Smh.. We just gotta pray about it!🙌🙌🙌🙌 and continue loving ourselves in the process!💪💃💃


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