It just doesn’t get any deeper than that.❤️
Sooo tonight was a reminder that chivalry is alive and present..
I had a date with an old college friend and let’s just say I was surprised. As soon as I walked outside he met me half way, greeted me and ushered me to the passenger seat. He opened the door for me and what was waiting in his hand was a bouquet of roses. I smiled from ear to ear at his attempt to make our date special.
Our conversation on the way to the restaurant was filled with laughter as he always had a great sense of humor. His style was unmatched and even the hostess showered him with compliments. His black studded leather jacket was accompanied with a black fitted button down shirt with white polka dots, skinny jeans and some white high-top nike sneakers.
We both ordered Sangrias and Spanish inspired entrees. I felt like he was really into just getting to know me beyond the “college girl on campus”. He expressed being very serious about finding a mate but insisted that he was not going to rush into anything. We were aligned in our goals and dreams for the future. I found myself looking forward to future dates as he talked about his passion for art which is something I never had been exposed to.
He picked up our “to go” containers which we vowed we would take to work tomorrow. Once he got to his car he noticed there was a lot of clutter which would prohibit me from getting into the passenger side. As a true gentlemen, he held my hand and let me into car assuring my safety.
Once we arrived to my house, he walked me to my door and told me how much he enjoyed our night. I held my roses tight and smiled. This Tuesday was definitely one I would never forget.❤️
A topic I was asked to speak about is being married vs. being in LOVE.
First off let me start off with saying my family is West Indian. This may not be applicable to all West Indian homes but I believe there is some validity in what I’m about to speak about.
With that being said, there are high expectations for their children. Education, Career and Marriage are at the top of the list and in that order. But what about the LOVE? That’s an element that’s not really pushed. You see a man, you guys are dating, shortly after he is expected to put a ring on it. But what if he is not the one? And God forbid you and this gentlemen get real busy on night which leads to an unexpected pregnancy. Telling your West Indian parent will be one of the hardest things you will have to do. Questions of marriage will surely arise and the pressure will be on to tie the knot.
Will the relationship have a chance to last? When do we begin to find LOVE in this relationship? Have we become just a business arrangement? Is it easier for your West Indian parents explain to your other family members and friends there is now a union that exists? But then we are missing the whole point of what it is to Love and be in LOVE.
I don’t want to be rushed into marriage nor into LOVE. I want a LOVE that is natural and pure that grows over time. Society has made it so hard for us to even see marriage in an honest light. The marriage becomes terminated before it even begins and now you’re left with dealing with lawyers, paperwork and filing for divorce. You and your once “husband” are no longer on speaking terms and you have to explain to your child why “daddy” is no longer living at home.
Marriage should be treated the same way as LOVE: It’s Forever. Do not go into a situation trying to appease your family or friends. For you will always end up last and will spend countless years full of regret, resentment and heartbreak. Choose your LOVE carefully and it will yield a fruitful Marriage one day. ❤️
As we wind down and anticipate the close of another year, I can’t help but to think of all the transitions that has happened to me this year. From a new career move, the departure of a friend, the exit of “Him” things have been a whirlwind. But no matter the shifts, moves, twists and turns I’ve managed to remain rooted.
Rooted in myself, values, beliefs and LOVE. I am thankful for where I stand at this moment. I am not easily broken as my roots stand tall affirming all that I am. I have realized that I am in need of much guidance and clarity which I could not have gotten had I been in relationships that served me no purpose. I’m looking for fulfillment and substance. I am not looking for the validation from others to complete my existence, however I’m looking towards the light of The Lord to order my steps. This has been one of my best years thus far.
The turning of 30 has opened up my eyes to what is real what is not. I am making better life, health, financial and love decisions. I am screening who I allow into my space. I am staying away from the “drama” brought on by people who are broken which in turn try to break you in return.
The men who I date have also looked different. If we aren’t speaking the same language from the beginning, we will be lost in translation forever. I am taking the time to harvest my garden, water my garden for that is where my soul and love flows.
I am being drawn to those who express to me I have a “beautiful soul”. I have owned the power of my energy and will decide to only make people feel good and bring positivity to their surroundings. I started my own blog which has had over a 1,000 views since its’ inception almost 3 months ago. I am enjoying my “me”time. I have also set my eyes on traveling the world. In 2015, I have committed to feasting my eyes on different parts of the world. There’s a warmth within me, there’s happiness within me and there’s a lot of LOVE within me. ❤️
I’m all about a good vibe. You know that kind of vibe that needs no introduction. It just flows, it has it’s own movement, rhythm, and beat. You can feel the vibrations through your body. It takes over your whole being. It’s delightful, refreshing and beautiful. You hate to be away from it because it completes you. It gives you a sense of security, comfort and warmth. It’s a feeling that can’t be duplicated or eliminated. You either give good vibes or you don’t. It’s a different kind of energy that fills you up, keeps you focused and always leaves you wanting more. ❤️
My friend had the pleasure of sharing this article with me about a newly divorced man named Gerald Rogers who took away 20 tips on what to remember when your married. I’m not here to regurgitate the entire article but something for you to keep in mind when it comes to “I, Do“:
In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
Don’t ever forget to build and grow your marriage in LOVE for their is where your true strength lies. ❤️
I’m not gonna lie. I can definitely be a little judgmental. Already writing someone off in my mind. Looking at their appearance and making up my mind as to who they are. Not making time for “certain” kinds of people. Until I realized how much of an ass I was making out of myself. It’s so important to keep an open mind.
For the last week, I have been having conversations with someone from my past and for the first time I’m actually getting a chance to get to know the “real” him. Years ago he was the “funny man on campus”. The man that gets the crowd going, always makes you laugh and had the best moves on the dance floor like no other. In this last week alone I have learned that he’s more than just the comic relief. He’s stable, career driven, considerate, family oriented and has a special meaning on LOVE. Don’t know where this will end up or what this could be but his take on love has lingered in my mind and I feel like it’s worth sharing:
“Love is the willingness to do anything for a person, but without the other person asking or wanting anything from the other person. It includes the emotional and physical attraction. Without one attraction, there is no love. If you’re talking about complete love, this love never leaves you. Even if the Love turns into a friendship, it is there forever.”
Shout out to the men who still can put their LOVE into words!
Open Mind +Open Heart= A Chance at LOVE.❤️