To Be Married? or To Be In Love?

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A topic I was asked to speak about is being married vs. being in LOVE.

First off let me start off with saying my family is West Indian. This may not be applicable to all West Indian homes but I believe there is some validity in what I’m about to speak about.

With that being said, there are high expectations for their children. Education, Career and Marriage are at the top of the list and in that order. But what about the LOVE? That’s an element that’s not really pushed. You see a man, you guys are dating, shortly after he is expected to put a ring on it. But what if he is not the one? And God forbid you and this gentlemen get real busy on night which leads to an unexpected pregnancy. Telling your West Indian parent will be one of the hardest things you will have to do. Questions of marriage will surely arise and the pressure will be on to tie the knot.

Will the relationship have a chance to last? When do we begin to find LOVE in this relationship? Have we become just a business arrangement? Is it easier for your West Indian parents explain to your other family members and friends there is now a union that exists? But then we are missing the whole point of what it is to Love and be in LOVE.

I don’t want to be rushed into marriage nor into LOVE. I want a LOVE that is natural and pure that grows over time. Society has made it so hard for us to even see marriage in an honest light. The marriage becomes terminated before it even begins and now you’re left with dealing with lawyers, paperwork and filing for divorce. You and your once “husband” are no longer on speaking terms and you have to explain to your child why “daddy” is no longer living at home.

Marriage should be treated the same way as LOVE: It’s Forever. Do not go into a situation trying to appease your family or friends. For you will always end up last and will spend countless years full of regret, resentment and heartbreak. Choose your LOVE carefully and it will yield a fruitful Marriage one day. ❤️